2007-03-23 - 4:18 a.m.
havent updated this in forever...writing here tonight because i don't have the patience to write with a pen. i wonder if anyone will still read this...hello mysterious readers out there.
well tonight my friend evan and i went for a driving lesson. myself teaching him how to drive. it was his second lesson with me...he drove around for about 2 hours or so. by the end of the lesson we were driving on the main roads back to his house. it was incredible. he went from bunny hopping in a little shopping carpark and stalling quite a bit, to stoping at red lights and changing up and down in gears on a main road. ok, so it was 2 in the morning so there was no traffic whatsoever, but it was still so awesome to see him drive to his house on his own basically. me being all jittery on the iced coffee i had, i was so excited to see him drive, i was a bit nervous for him. the best feeling was when i was explaining how to do hill starts. he was trying to do it, and i was explaining how to do it, but he just wasn't really understanding because he kept stalling, so i hoped into the drivers side and showed him, talking him through it...when we swapped over again, i could totally sense it clicking over in his head how to do it...and then he drove off from the hill really smoothly. i love that feeling you get when you can sense what the person is thinking...and it was like that for most of the lesson, me explaining and him understanding perfectly, to be on the same wavelength and knowing what to do. i hope this makes sense to the reader, it makes sense to me anyway, i guess that's the most important once i read back on this later.
evan is a really cool guy, and fun to hang out with. very genuine and down to earth, not at all aggressive or full of himself like many a male can be. it's refreshing. and even though he's quiet, he's still confident and out there and fun - likes to go to gigs and have a dance and go all out to have a great time. i'm glad i've met him. his girlfriend radha i met the other night and she is so lovely and bright and full of this amazing energy. i love it when people give off a great energy, you can sense it.
so i guess this entry is about connections - creating a bond with someone, getting to know their personality and traits, their body language and sense of self and everything like that. and in turn getting to know more about ones self from another friend, you get to know what you're like with that particular person ; i feel incredibly comfortable with evan, i don't get tongue tied as much as i do with other people and don't feel the need to impress him or censor what i say, or feel embarrased or insecure about who i am or what i say. a lot of the time when i meet new people i feel odd talking about myself and what i do, but with evan things flow more easily...i guess over the last couple of months since going out more and meeting new people, especially hanging out more with jay who is just lovely, i feel more confident talking about myself and more accepting of who i am and my personality because i have friends who enjoy my company and people who want to hang out with me and talk to me about anything and everything.
it's a really good feeling. i'm pretty happy with the friendships i have at the moment, and hope to make them even stronger and hopefully make new friends along the way. and i'm happy with who i am at the moment and the things i'm doing. i must admit i'm a little lazy at the moment, a little unproductive, but i'm getting there....i know i need to focus more on projects and tasks, the last couple of weeks have been hard with the changes that have gone on, i've been so used to my routine for the last 2 years that even a tiny change is strange and made me a little depressed about my life.
so, resolutions i need to keep in mind each day:
i'd like to learn how to mix music
have another part time job
learn more about fruityloops and start writing some music
move out this year hopefully and have a house where i feel independant, free and "at home" so to speak.
discover more and more music
do more zine work, to write more and put it all together in a beautiful way to share with friends. - this is the main way i like to express myself
to eat better and exercise more
to take more photos at gigs, of friends, of places.
to do things differently, to try and do more creative things as i can, try to think outside the box...
to not be swayed so much by others. to not crush on boys so easily, to not get so caught up in their world.
to figure out who i am, my beliefs, my personality even more, so i can share myself with others more in a better way....hmmm it's hard to write what i'm really trying to say...oh well.
anyway, it's 4:30 in the morning, i'm trying to stay up for the sunrise...which will hopefully arrive soon, as i'm getting a little sleepy right now.
long entry..thank you for reading if you made it this far.
good night!
love,
anna.
