2004-01-28 - 2:13 p.m.
Yesterday marked the first day back at school, but this time not for me. I used to love the feeling of going back to school. each year the weather would be almost the same; really hot and sunny. despite the weather being the same, you'd always be able to make a different and fresh start to the year with new books, pencil cases and pens. In years 9 and 10, I used to hate seeing so many girls in my grade with new shoes and bags ( mostly shoulder bags, the craze which I eventually gave into - only for a while though seeing as it killed your shoulders) because they really didn't need new ones when you thought about it. All the girls bought black mary jane style shoes and surf brand bags and got hair cuts. All I wanted was for my skin not to be really blemished and for my uniform to look good.
In year 11 and 12 I think, everybody, or at least myself, felt more asured since there weren't those huge and sometimes menacing year 12's that used to be there when we were in the lower grades. I remember sometimes being made to feel inferior by year 12's. Just their presence was enough to scare you.
Last year however, it was our turn to be the year 12's, and I could tell we all felt good to be higher up on the ladder, to watch all the short year eight kids just starting highschool, while we were just starting to finish it.
However, that year there was this huge influx of really tall year eight kids which was kinda strange. But all of them, whether they were short or tall, they were the sort of kids that you could talk to easily.
Unlike myself in year 8, scared out of my mind of those older students in my form class, the year 8's of last year all had this spark to them. Even if some of them were total idiots, you could tell they didn't feel inferior by us. You didn't feel the need to be horrible to them or pick on them. And even if you did it was only in jest, and they'd make sure to punch you or make fun of you back. But I suppose I was a nice older kid to talk to. Just writing this makes me remember the horrible atmosphere that was created in my form class by some older students. bleh! Anyway... about that spark
It was the same with some of the year 9's that I befriended, because like me they didn't really care, or at least didn't talk about school work all the time. They had this really beautiful care free and youthful energy to them, like they should, not jaded or trying too hard to grow up.P>
I am going to miss that feeling of going to school. Especially those later years when it was starting to feel good to go to school, to have real friends and good little aquintances to spend classes with, to feel secure in myself and not be made to feel inferior. It was a time when all these aspects of school and myself were starting to come to fruition and finally make sense.
